Photo: Getty Images
Displays of Black love are becoming increasingly popular.
Movies, television shows, songs or other media have put Black couples at the forefront, highlighting the trials and tribulations of successful relationships. Yet, Black LGBT+ are consistently being left out of the narrative. Eliminating stories of passion, acceptance and perseverance, romantic stories of same-sex couples are shunned from media but also from within the experience.
As an openly bisexual woman, Deidre Smith has felt the weight of living her truth. Now she helps others find their light and the courage to be able to live out loud. Seeing love through many perspectives, the scope is continuously growing for Black love.
“For me, as a bisexual woman, the scope is broad. I see different hues, different sexual identity, gender identities, different statures, different classes. It’s such an array that I see and I think that my, what could be considered as a disadvantage for me, has actually given me an advantage as to how I see the world as it pertains to love,” said Smith.
As the Community and Crisis Intervention Advocate as well as the Woman to Woman Program Coordinator for LGBT Detroit, a non-profit organization serving lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals, Smith acts as a social worker helping to navigate and identify resources for LBGT+ persons and helps to amplify the voices of Black and Brown persons of the female experience. Through each position, Smith has been able to witness the success and pitfalls of how Black LBGT+ love is portrayed.
“Unfortunately, it’s still a very taboo subject when we bring up the subject of LGBTQIA-identified individuals and how they experience life and their perception of it. Especially in love, when we think about love, unfortunately we tend to think about sex more than anything,” said Smith. “Even in heteronormative situations, the topic of sex is taboo. So then, to take an identity of LGBT and put it on top of an already taboo subject and then to couple that with the Black experience, which is so very nuanced in itself, well you can see why people tend to shy away from the topic of Black love, especially LGBTQ Black love.”
Though the world is evolving, the LBGTQIA+ community seems to have not only been excluded from society, but from the Black community in particular. Only finding acceptance within their own community, those who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans or queer are consistently finding representation of their narratives to be nonexistent or over sexualized. Still, it does not stop them from expressing love and defining it on their own terms.
“I learned very early to express my truth and I learned it’s going to ruffle some feathers. As it pertains to sexuality, I couldn’t hide those parts of me that made me the happiest,” said Smith.
Historically, African Americans are tied to faith and religion. The Christian church has made its stance clear; there’s little to no room for expressions of love outside of that of a man and a woman. A major catalyst to the belief system for African Americans at large, homosexual relationships have been all but banned from the church. The persistent elimination, for some, has led those in the LGBT+ community to seek answers from a higher power more directly and intimately. Faced with decisions and realizations around religion, love and sexuality, Black LGBT+ are at a crossroads.
“I think in a lot of ways it can be restrictive and that’s only because there is a fear that has been instilled in us that said you’re going to Hell, if you subscribe to this particular religion. Even outside of it, people that don’t subscribe to it, they believe that there’s some type of consequence or damnation for those who identify this way,” said Smith.
The notion of Black love is sacred but if it is not inclusive, how can it be representative of all forms? Pushed into the closet despite coming out, LGBT+ relationships, for some, are seen less. Though many are expressing and extending the same love and adoration as heterosexual relationships, this has left little to no room for Black gay, bi, trans or lesbian representation.
To create a new narrative, Smith believes celebrations of all forms of Black love are needed to end the stigma.
“Take our pictures, take our pictures when you see PDA. Put us on the tv, put us on the radio. We’ve been there anyway. We’re there anyway. Let us go ahead and sing words of praise and worship because God has had us anyway. How come we can’t say ‘amen’ and ‘thank you Jesus,” said Smith.
About Post Author
