February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness month.
According to the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence, teen dating violence (also called adolescent relationship abuse) is unfortunately common. The abuse can be verbal, emotional, physical or sexual. It can happen in person or electronically. Unfortunately, many teens have experienced violence in different forms at the hands of someone they consider to be a romantic partner. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that about 1.5 million high school-age teens have suffered physical abuse by a partner. In 2013, a CDC survey found that about 20 percent of girls and 10 percent of boys in the United States. had experienced physical or sexual violence in a dating relationship in the past year.
Equally alarming is the fact that studies show that three out of four parents have never spoken to their children about dating violence.*
Why is abuse in adolescent relationships so common? Adolescence is a time when young people are beginning to explore their sexual and gender identity, attractions, relationships and dating. They are also exposed to violence and abusive relationships in the media, their communities, and sometimes in their own homes. The middle school years are a key time to discuss relationship abuse and sexual violence and, more importantly, to emphasize healthy and respectful relationships.
So, what can we do to keep our young people safe? There are many answers to that question. One solution lies in how we tackle the problem in our communities. One of the studies led by Elizabeth Miller, MD, PhD—professor of pediatrics, University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine, and director of the Division of Adolescent and Young Adult Medicine at Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh of UPMC—is a violence prevention program called Coaching Boys into Men. Created by Futures Without Violence (www.coachescorner.org), this program trains athletic coaches to talk to their male athletes about their role as upstanders in their community. “Upstanders” means being the person who stands up and speaks out when peers are engaging in disrespectful and harmful behaviors. The program also emphasizes respect in relationships, consent and nonviolence. It challenges traditional stereotypes of what it means to be a man. The program has already been shown to work with high schoolers. At the end of the sports season, male athletes who got the program were more likely to intervene when they saw their peers engaging in harmful behaviors. One year later, the program’s effects were still there. The boys were less likely to ignore or go along with disrespectful behaviors they saw among their peers. They were also much less likely to abuse a dating partner.
In addition to related studies about healthy relationships (see box), Dr. Miller and her team also work with health care providers (including school nurses) to talk to their teen patients about the importance of respectful relationships. Abusive relationships are bad for the health of young people in many ways and can lead to depression, suicide, eating disorders, drug use, sexually transmitted infections and even pregnancy. The research from Dr. Miller’s team has focused on helping providers talk to their adolescent patients (and their parents) about healthy relationships. During a clinic visit, the provider will offer educational information to every young person (regardless of whether or not she or he is in an abusive relationship), saying that they are talking to all their patients about the importance of healthy, respectful relationships. Providers also say that the information may be useful to young people so they know how to help a friend. This approach has been well-received by youths. Studies by Dr. Miller’s team show that this approach of offering education during a clinic visit to all youths increases how much they know about relationship abuse. In some instances, for those experiencing abuse, the approach can reduce the likelihood of abuse. See Futures Without Violence for relevant materials (https://www.futures
withoutviolence.org/hanging-out-or-
hooking-up-2/).
Because adolescence is a time of change and growth, young people are also learning how to be in intimate relationships. They may need guidance that does not come from a parent or caregiver. If you are concerned about adolescents in your life or just want to make sure they know where they can get support or help, talk to a health care provider.
If you or someone you know needs free, confidential help, call the Teen Dating Violence hotline at 1-866-331-9474, text “loveis” to 22522 or go to https://www.loveisrespect.org/.
* https://www.avonfoundation.org/programs/domestic-violence/
Tips for Parents and Caregivers
Is your teenager in a healthy relationship? How do you know if she or he is safe in a relationship? After reading these articles, these may be some of your questions.
Parents and caregivers know that open communication with their teen is a good way to establish trust and know what is going on in their lives. Research shows that parents or caregivers who consistently talk about healthy relationships with their teens can help protect them. If you are concerned that a young person in your life may be involved in an abusive relationship, here are some general tips*:
1. Discuss what healthy relationships are—long before you think your teen might start having relationships.
2. Discuss abusive relationships—what abuse looks or feels like, if they have seen a friend abused or how abuse is represented in the media.
3. Ask about their relationships—Listen to what they have to say.
4. Let them know they can come to you for help—If they feel they cannot talk with you about their relationships, let them know about hotlines or other sources of support (health care providers, relatives, church leaders, etc.) to which they can go.
National Dating Abuse Helpline:
1-866-331-9474; 1-866-331-8453 (TTY); www.loveisrespect.org
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233); 1-800-787-3224 (TTY); www.ndvh.org
Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673); www.rainn.org
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