Father’s Day is always a reminder for me that my dad is no longer here and how much I miss his presence in my life. I often wish he was here for me to laugh with and, more importantly, had the chance to let him know how much he still means to me.
This contemplation led me to realize, sadly, how much we don’t publicly appreciate our fathers. On Mother’s Day, the world almost comes to a halt and while mothers are very deserving of all the shine they receive, so are our fathers, especially our black men who are fathers.
Black men often make the front page of the news for so many negative things, and I am using this opportunity and space to change that narrative and celebrate some excellent fathers in Detroit.
These men are entrepreneurs, mentors, artists, and educators, but most importantly they are just down to earth dope dads. I also wanted to hear their thoughts on what it means to be a dad and how fatherhood changed their lives.
“Being a dope dad means encouraging and allowing my children to be their true, authentic selves. It means affording them every opportunity possible to grow into the person they dream to become.
“Fatherhood has changed my life completely. It has taught me to be more patient and compassionate. Most importantly, raising my children has shown me how extremely valuable black fathers are to our communities.”
“Being a dope gad means that you are not just a father but a best friend. You must be someone that they can always communicate effectively with because they know you have their best interest at heart. Never too hard and never too soft.
“If I wasn’t a father I wouldn’t be the man I am today. My children are my fire, motivation and strength. They give me a greater purpose in life. “
“To me, being a dope dad is being a leader for your family. I put a lot of emphasis on being a leader to my kids. Also, being honest, supportive and positive with my kids. I always tell my children to follow your dreams and don’t ever let anyone get in the way of achieving your dreams.
“The biggest change has been thinking about others’ needs before you think of your own. Simply knowing you are responsible for the well-being and the livelihood of another human being puts a pressure on you that simply cannot be explained. Pressure can either burst pipes or it can make diamonds. I plan on making diamonds.”
“A dope dad to me is being all you can be. Being that superhero in your kids’ life. Too often, men look for credit for being a father to their child. I’m a believer that you shouldn’t be patted on the back for doing what you’re supposed to do. Growing up without my biological father in the household, I credit a lot to my stepfather, Jerome Wiggins, for being that example of what a dad is supposed to be. A dope dad goes above and beyond the basics and he ensures that his children have the proper upbringing, respect and the fight to want to be an even doper.
“Fatherhood changed my life tremendously. I was 22 when my son was born and at the moment, I instantly knew I had to change my ways and my maturity. I looked at my life and knew I wanted to be the best dad I could be and I must admit, it took time.
“There were bumps and bruises along the way that I endured, but it was the constant reminder of my son that I could not let him down and that what I become will play a big role in my ability to provide and to be an example to him.”
“Being a dope dad means that you have to toe the line between father, friend, and hero. Being a father literally saved my life. Before I had children, I was chasing the wrong things in life. But when I became a father I had someone looking up to me but also counting on me, so I had to change and focus on them.”
“I would characterize a dope dad as a father who displays unconditional love and acceptance for his children; one who possesses wisdom, knowledge, intelligence and the ability to listen patiently; a problem solver, mentor, role model, comforter, supporter, and guide.”
“Fatherhood has made me a better man and person. Knowing that you have the responsibility for raising another human being is humbling.
“As a result of being a father, I am more patient, thoughtful, loving, understanding and a better listener. I am the proud father of two beautiful daughters. My daughters are the loves of my life, and I am honored that of all the people in the world that God could have chosen to be their father, he chose me.”
Dope Dads in the D
