Learn how to help save a friend or loved one’s life
Suicide is challenging but should be discussed openly and honestly.
Since the pandemic began in 2020, many Detroiters have experienced the loss of loved ones, reopened grief from the previous loss of loved ones, depression, isolation, and increased anxiety—which has increased the numbers of suicide and suicidal thoughts, called suicide ideation. To help raise awareness and dialogue, September is recognized as National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month.
Karisa Harris-Turner, a licensed clinical social worker in the Integrated Behavioral Health Services department at The Wellness Plan Medical Centers-Pontiac, shares that her mother died during the pandemic. She said she had a circle of support to help her through her grieving process. Still, many people are reluctant to talk about their feelings and keep their feelings about not wanting to be here anymore, especially after a significant loss, a secret.
Sometimes friends and relatives may become a sounding board for a suicidal friend or family member, and they may also need resources to help them navigate their journey in that role. You may not know what to say, but simple words of support can go a long way, Harris-Turner said.
“I share with my patients, ‘You know you’re not alone. I’m here for you. I don’t know all the answers, but I will do all I can to help,’” she said.
Everyone must remember that suicide’s reach goes far beyond the individual having suicidal thoughts and actions. Those around them – family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, associates, etc. – also are impacted. Additionally, while a suicidal person may not directly ask for help, that doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t want help. So, what can someone do to help?
Harris-Turner said the most crucial thing that relatives and loved ones can do is recognize the warning signs.
The first step is to take the person who indicates they want to die by suicide is to take them seriously and know how to respond to them, she said. Some things to avoid are judging, chastising the person, or saying something such as “You know you can’t go to heaven if you kill yourself” or telling them to pray about it, Harris-Turner said.
She also reminds people to show they care because sometimes suicidal persons may not share their feelings if they think they will be judged or condemned.
“Sometimes we forget to be kind, compassionate, and understanding, she said. “More of that will go a long way to save lives.”
Recognizing warning signs
An important part – the first step of suicide prevention is recognizing the warning signs and taking them seriously as well as knowing how to respond to them. Warning signs of suicide include:
- Talking about suicide.
- Looking for access to guns, pills, knives, etc.
- Having a preoccupation with death.
- Sudden mood swings or personality changes.
- Hopelessness.
- Self-loathing/hatred.
- Neglecting appearance.
- Changes in eating and sleeping patterns.
- Saying goodbye.
- Withdrawal.
- Self-destructive behavior.
Suicide prevention tips
- If you’re worried about another individual, speak up and start a conversation. Giving a suicidal person the opportunity to share their feelings can provide relief.
Starting a conversation with a statement that reflects concern can help. For example, “You haven’t seemed like yourself lately, so I wanted to check in,” or, “How are you doing? I’ve noticed some changes in you and want to be sure you’re OK.”
“Remind them that they are not alone and that you are in their corner. Let them know the way they are feeling now will change and that you care about them and want them to be OK,” Harris-Turner suggests.
2. Respond quickly. It’s essential to determine if the individual is in immediate danger.
Harris-Turner, who has worked with patients in a variety of settings, including a psychiatric hospital, offers the following suggested questions to ask to help assess the immediate risk of suicide:
- Do you have a suicide plan?
- Do you have what you need to carry out your plan?
- Do you know when you will do it?
- Do you intend to take your own life?
She said determining the level of risk will help you decide what to do following a risk assessment.
- Low – The person has some suicidal thoughts but no suicide plan. Says he, she, or they won’t attempt suicide. No suicide plan. Says he, she, or they won’t attempt suicide.
- Moderate – Suicidal thoughts. Vague plan. Says he, she, or they won’t attempt suicide.
- High – Suicidal thoughts. Specific plan. Says he, she, or they won’t attempt suicide.
- Severe – Suicidal thoughts. Specific plan. Says he, she, or they will attempt suicide.
“It’s important to pay attention and take them seriously, even if you do not think that the person you’re trying to help is in immediate danger,” Harris-Turner says.
3. Offer help and support. “Trying to help someone who is suicidal can be emotionally challenging,” Covarrubias says. “While trying to offer support, remember not to put the responsibility on yourself for making the individual better. You can offer support, but only the individual in question can decide to get help and commit to ongoing treatment and therapy.”
Some things to do to offer support:
- Help find professional help for the individual and encourage them to see someone.
- Be proactive regarding reaching out. Don’t wait for the person to call or ask for help. Stop by to visit, keep calling, and invite the person out for dinner or even a walk.
- Encourage lifestyle changes that will positively affect the individual. Such as a healthy diet, getting plenty of sleep, getting outside, etc. A health coach, therapist, or counselor can create long-term plans, set goals, help sustain positive changes and motivate and encourage behavioral changes.
- Make a safety plan. Assist in developing a plan for the individual so they can identify triggers and follow the steps that are determined to be most helpful. Include the contact numbers for the individual’s therapist (if applicable), crisis center hotline, suicide prevention line, and other contacts who can help in an emergency.
- Continue supporting the individual long-term. Keep in touch, periodically stop by to visit, call to check in, and remind the individual that there is hope.
Additional information to help provide support to someone who is considering suicide is available on Mental Health America’s “For Family & Friends” webpage. “After an Attempt” is a guide by the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline and Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). It includes helpful information for those who have attempted suicide and those supporting them.
4. Get training:
The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention offers many training resources, as does the group Suicide Awareness Voices of Education (SAVE), by providing tools to community leaders to help prevent suicide.
5. Get involved. During September, when the focus is on raising awareness for suicide prevention, it’s easier for individuals to join in to support those around them and their communities. However, that support is needed all year long regardless of whether an individual is directly helping someone in need.
There are many ways to get and stay involved. Share information about suicide and suicide prevention on social media to help reduce the stigma associated with it. Keep the dialogue with family and friends about the need for increased awareness and support. Volunteer at a local crisis shelter or similar organization. Donate to agencies that work nonstop to provide support and services for needy individuals.
Suicide prevention resources
There are many suicide prevention resources available, including:
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline – The Lifeline provides 24-hour, confidential support to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress. 988 has been designated as the new three-digit dialing code that will route callers to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Call or text 988 to connect with a trained crisis counselor. Support is also available via live chat. More information about 988 is available here.
- Wayne County Crisis & Referral Line – (800) 241-4949.
- Team Wellness Center crisis line – (888) 813-8326.
- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) – Offers resources for suicide prevention for anyone in need, including resources supporting diverse communities and the LGBTQ community.
- The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) – shares resources, facts, risk factors, and more.
- National Institute of Mental Health (NIH) – Shares action steps to help someone.
- Suicide Prevention Resource Center (SPRC) – Shares multiple resources on suicide prevention.
- For additional information about National Suicide Prevention Month, go to www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org